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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26715091">Snowfall</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sailorAE86/pseuds/sailorAE86'>sailorAE86</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Initial D</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gay, Hurt/Comfort, I honestly don't have this story planned out so, It WAS supposed to be a one shot, M/M, More characters eventually, Mutual Pining, Pain, Sexual Assault, Slow Burn, Violence, eventual sex I think, keikumi, keisuke and takumi are both oblivious idiots, lord help ryosuke, well ok it's sort of a slow burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:28:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,292</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26715091</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sailorAE86/pseuds/sailorAE86</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Keisuke finds an injured Takumi on a cold night on Mount Akina, the feelings he's harbored for months threaten to spill out. Will he be able to get a grip on his emotions while helping Takumi heal emotionally and physically, or will Takumi do something Keisuke least expected?</p><p>I think we all know the answer to that question.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Fujiwara Takumi/Takahashi Keisuke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>84</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Why Can't I Have You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hiii. I swear, I don't exclusively write fics about Takumi being injured... I have about 5 other Initial D fics in the process of being written and this one simply wanted to be finished first. Kind of. </p><p>This was originally going to be long one shot, but I ended up deciding to turn this into a multi chapter fic. I'm honestly not sure how many chapters it'll have, and this is sort of being written on the fly, though I do have a few ideas. Please read with that in mind as minor things are subject to change.</p><p>This chapter title is from the song "Why Can't I Have You" by The Cars.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The snow was deafeningly quiet, though not in an eerie or skin crawling way. The manner in which it lightly collapsed onto the Earth was oddly serene in a way that nothing could compare to. It made no noise when it descended, unlike it’s noisy and abrasive companion, rain. Then again, as loud and sometimes off putting as rain could be, it acted under no false pretenses. Rain made certain that everyone was aware of what it was and what it could do. It didn’t act innocent - a skill snow had arguably mastered. Snow was pure and silent and alluring, but quick to penalize those who fell for it’s trap. </p><p>Takumi Fujiwara was in the process of being inadvertently punished.</p><p>An hour ago, he had been relishing in the luxury of a warm home. An hour later, he was wandering around in nothing but a t-shirt and jeans, despite the temperature being well below the freezing point. The snow crunched wearily beneath his worn New Balance shoes, and was the only sound he heard aside from his visible, shivering breaths.</p><p>Had he been somewhat coherent, he would have recognized the quickly approaching whine of a particular yellow FD. However, Takumi was not coherent. What had taken place sixty minutes ago, along with the numbing cold, had muddled his brain down to nothingness.</p><p>Blinding headlights swallowed the darkness whole. They were coming from behind him, but he didn’t turn around or even acknowledge the brightness. Instead, he continued taking slow, pitiful steps. The auditory cues of a car that had been going above the speed limit slowing down was followed by the sound of a door opening. </p><p>“Fujiwara, what the hell are you doing?” An exasperated sounding voice called out after a momentary pause of identifying the figure walking. Takumi’s legs stopped carrying him, though as to whether that was because of the cold or his name being said, he couldn't be sure. When he didn’t turn around, the voice yelled, “oi, Fujiwara!”</p><p>Takumi looked over his left shoulder and met Keisuke’s eyes with his own blurry gaze as best as he could with the headlights blinding him. Keisuke flinched. Takumi’s unusually pale skin was highlighted by the dark crimson plastered around his nose and mouth. The dried blood ran all the way down to his soft jawline, and Keisuke wondered cynically if his obviously injured nose had only stopped bleeding because of the cold. Keisuke’s gaze inched upwards and were met with two hazel eyes, one that looked as though it had been hit several times. As a result, it was now a sickly, mottled black-purple.</p><p>“Takumi…” Keisuke breathed, too stunned to realize he had said his given name. He stepped forward tentatively. Takumi seemed to want to retreat, but his body had other plans in mind. His eyes suddenly fluttered shut and his body began to crumple weightlessly. With an expletive leaving his mouth, Keisuke hurriedly shot forward in rapid strides and just barely caught the teen under his arms.</p><p>--</p><p>The ride to Takasaki was noiseless, save for the groaning Takumi emitted in the FD’s passenger seat, shifting through his restless sleep all the while. That, and Keisuke’s natural reflex when he was stressed: cussing. </p><p>“Fuck,” Keisuke said softly, running the hand that wasn’t on the steering wheel through his blonde locks. He eyed the wounded brunette. After shrugging off his own coat and wrapping him in it, as well as turning up the heat to the highest setting it would go to, Takumi had finally stopped shivering.</p><p>It didn’t do a damn to ease his stress, though. Heart thumping painfully in his chest, Keisuke’s thoughts raced as he navigated the FD slowly through the winding darkness. Fractured emotions gnawed at his exhausted mind. Worry and fear clung to him, outweighing the anger he prayed wasn’t radiating off of him. Who had done this to him, and why? Keisuke couldn’t stand the thought of some prick pummeling Takumi. He couldn’t stand the idea of someone being so cruel to the man he had become so infatuated with; the man who had thrown him for a loop and changed his life completely.</p><p>Of course his ego and pride had taken a nosedive when Takumi had shown up late to Mount Akina that fateful summer night. He was the number two driver of the Akagi Red Suns, dammit, and losing to some baby faced eighteen year old in a clunker of an Eight-Six was murderous to his self esteem. Except, that wasn’t the most pressing issue. The most pressing issue was his desire to be close to his rival. Keisuke ached to be near the man who had put his dignity through the shredder like it had been nothing.</p><p>Keisuke often wondered if it was some unknown kink he had secretly harbored; a love for humiliation. That idea would always be met with a sigh and the miserable sentiment <em>having a humiliation fetish would be much easier</em>. No, Keisuke didn’t love shame. Keisuke loved <em>Takumi.</em></p><p>The realization had hit him multiple times, and yet it remained a shocking revelation. It wasn’t like being attracted to the same sex was such a surprise. Keisuke had uncovered his bisexuality in his early teens, much to his parents' chagrin. Still, of all people to be in love with, did it have to be Takumi Fujiwara? Keisuke didn’t even know Takumi's sexuality, not to mention whether or not he was interested in him.</p><p>Then again, there were many things that made Takumi an absolute mystery to him. After moving Takumi’s limp form to the car, it occurred to him that he had no idea where the downhill legend lived, and it made his heart throb. Keisuke had met up with Takumi many times since first meeting him half a year ago, but he had never asked questions or attempted to get to know Takumi. He supposed it was him trying to feel complacent living in disgraced denial.</p><p>The brunette shifted once more and pulled Keisuke from his thoughts. Despite being bloody and bruised, Takumi’s face was just as attractive as it had been the last time Keisuke had seen him. The way his light brown hair fell; the way it framed the usually brilliant hazel eyes that were now closed and discolored. The way soft pink lips would turn upwards, revealing an incredibly rare and warm smile. The way all of that combined, proving to create a gorgeous and mystifying man. It all had Keisuke longing to be more than whatever they currently were, whether that was friends or rivals or something in between.</p><p>At some point, Keisuke had decided on bringing his unconscious companion to the Takahashi residence. He was sure that he could’ve found Takumi’s residence had he done a bit of trekking and digging. While he’d never seen it, he knew Takumi’s father owned a tofu shop that doubled as a house. Seeing as Takumi was serving as a bit of a distraction as of late though, Keisuke figured that it would just be easier to take him to his place than to spend what could be hours finding the Fujiwara residence. Takumi also needed medical attention, making his house ideal.</p><p>Keisuke tried very hard to believe he was bringing Takumi home for these reasons and not because it would mean he would be under the same roof as his love.</p><p>Eventually, the FD pulled into the spacious garage, the sky still just as dark as it had been before. Keisuke stepped out of the vehicle and walked around to the passenger side, opening the door. As he undid the racing straps across the teen’s chest, he didn’t even bother waking him. Throwing one of Takumi’s arms around his neck, he scooped him out of the seat and picked the teen up. Takumi’s head fell against his shoulder, and had the circumstances been different, Keisuke knew that he would’ve enjoyed it. </p><p>Upon entering the large, western style house, Keisuke slipped out of his shoes and marched up the stairs, carefully maneuvering to avoid hurting Takumi further. He noticed that Ryosuke’s door was closed as he moved down the long hallway and into his bedroom. Suddenly feeling eternally grateful that his mother had insisted he tidy up his room days before, he gently laid Takumi down onto his bed. For a few breathless moments, Keisuke simply stared at him, lost in thoughts of love and nothingness. It was only when his gaze connected with Takumi’s bruised face that his trance was shattered and he turned to leave his room.</p><p>With a pause outside the door opposite his, he knocked three times. A levelled “come in” followed after a few heartbeats. One hand nervously twisted the door knob, the other anxiously ran through his hair. As he swung the door open, Keisuke attempted to gather himself as best as he could. </p><p>In front of him was Ryosuke, who had obviously been typing away at his computer. He swiveled around in his office chair, meeting Keisuke with a weary but nonetheless present look.</p><p>Keisuke didn’t bother to let him speak first. “Aniki, I need you to come into my room.”</p><p>A small smile met his brother’s lips. “Why? What’d you do this time?”</p><p>“It’s Fujiwara.” Keisuke deadpanned.</p><p>For a very brief second, shock laced Ryosuke’s dark eyes as his worn smile disappeared. He rose from his seat and allowed Keisuke to lead him, a questioning expression on his face all the while.</p><p>Although he refrained from gasping, Keisuke knew his brother was just as shocked as he had been. His eyes began searching Takumi’s sleeping figure, inspecting his injuries. Without looking back to Keisuke, he asked, “what happened?”</p><p>“I don’t know. I found him stumbling around on Akina,” Keisuke replied. “He looked like he’d been out there for a while. Pretty much the second I got there, the damn kid passed out.”</p><p>Ryosuke nodded absently. “Most likely from the cold,” he murmured.</p><p>Keisuke abruptly felt his infamous explosive anger flare up. “Idiot didn’t even have a jacket on,” he hissed, more so to himself than to Ryosuke. Concern that was masked as white hot irritation coursed through him. His body urged him to smoke a cigarette, but he didn’t want to take the few, albeit too many steps out to his balcony. Even if he would still be within eyesight, Keisuke didn’t dare leave Takumi’s side.</p><p>“Help me undress him.” Keisuke shot his brother an odd, disturbed look, to which Ryosuke sighed, “I need to see if he has any other injuries, Keisuke. Get your mind out of the gutter.”</p><p>Flushing, Keisuke mumbled an embarrassed <em>oh</em> and moved to the other side of his bed. Together they removed Keisuke’s heavy coat, with Keisuke tossing it to the side and it landing with a muffled thud. Ryosuke then ran his fingers underneath the hem of Takumi’s shirt and carefully moved it upwards. </p><p>Keisuke was given the job of somewhat holding him up, a job he begged would both last forever and end as soon as possible. His hand against Takumi’s bare, unclothed skin was far too much for him to take, even if it was just his back. Breath hitching, he averted his gaze and tried to ignore the inviting warmth against his touch. Keisuke knew he was blushing and hoped his inquisitive brother wouldn’t notice.</p><p>“Keisuke,” Ryosuke said in a strange, almost tense voice. Keisuke looked over and what little air that remained rushed out from his lungs.</p><p>With the shirt gone, Takumi’s wounded, skinny frame was on display. Huge bruises dominated the milky skin, varying in shades of dark purple, yellow, and black. They were most prominently seen along his chest where a particularly nasty looking one stuck out.</p><p>“Aniki, what the fuck?!” Keisuke managed to choke out furiously, adrenalin pumping. </p><p>“I don’t think any of his ribs are broken,” Ryosuke asserted mechanically, slipping into his professional doctor role that reminded Keisuke too much of their father once more and running a hand along Takumi’s chest. “Some of them may be cracked. They’re definitely bruised at the very least.”</p><p>“Well, what does that mean? Do we need to take him to the hospital?” Keisuke asked quickly, his worry evident in his voice.</p><p>“Calm down, Keisuke. For now, he’s okay to avoid an ER trip. Over the counter pain relievers will work just fine.” Keisuke opened his mouth to argue, but Ryosuke continued, “look, if Fujiwara wakes up and wishes to go to the hospital, we’ll take him. Okay?” Ryosuke searched his little brother’s face as he closed his mouth and gave a small nod. Had the situation been different, Ryosuke would have pulled him into his room and interrogated him until they had complete and utter transparency. But of course, Takumi’s presence kept a Takahashi from doing what they wanted to for the second time that night.</p><p>“I’m going to go get some supplies. Stay here,” Ryosuke instructed and turned on his heel before Keisuke could object. Not that he would object - in fact, he didn’t need someone to tell him to stay. What else was he going to go do? Go back up to Akina and continue the practice runs he had been busy with? Like hell he would.</p><p>Keisuke faced his closet and began rummaging through it. Understanding with annoyance that very few things of his would actually fit Takumi, he flipped through clothing item after item. Eventually, he came across what was a black, form fitting shirt for him that would be slightly baggy on Takumi. Of course, that wouldn’t be out of the ordinary, would it? Takumi’s clothes were usually loose.</p><p>Keisuke stole a glance at Takumi and the body that was normally concealed. Though it was bruise ridden and scraped to all hell, the beauty in it was still rather obvious. He wasn’t nearly as toned as Keisuke, but hard muscles shone against his small, shapely build. That alone had Keisuke’s heart flip-flopping like mad and heat pooling into places down below. Add in everything else that made Takumi so wonderful - his smile, his mind, his drift skills- and you had the astounding equation that left the blonde so breathless.</p><p>
  <em>Dammit, I have to get this under control! If he catches me staring at him like this when he wakes up, it’ll freak him the fuck out!</em>
</p><p>With a shake of his head, Keisuke pulled the black shirt off the hanger. He grabbed a pair of gray sweats that would easily fit him considering they were adjustable. Setting those down on a chair, he looked up just in time to see Ryosuke walk back in, first aid kit in hand, as well as a few ice packs.</p><p>“I’m going to take care of his eye and nose first,” his brother said, kneeling down next to the bed, “so I need you to hold the ice packs against his ribs and his hands as well, after they’re disinfected.”</p><p>Keisuke titled his head to the side a bit. “His hands?”</p><p>Ryosuke’s eyes trailed downwards to the brunette’s hands and Keisuke followed. Takumi’s knuckles were discolored and contused, much like the rest of him. A couple of them were even split and bleeding sluggishly. It left the blonde feeling taken aback. How had Keisuke missed that?</p><p>Moving to sit on the edge of the bed, Keisuke spoke. “He put up quite the fight…” An involuntary smile formed at the thought and a small flicker of pride warmed his chest. Ryosuke merely hummed and Keisuke went to work cleaning the open cuts.</p><p>Placing the ice packs on both knuckles and spreading more out over his chest, he watched his brother finish removing the blood that stained Takumi’s face with care. Ryosuke moved onto his eye, gingerly feeling the area around it. He made a short <em>hm</em> noise and lightly pressed a much smaller ice pack onto it. Ten minutes passed before Ryosuke lifted the ice pack away from his face and Keisuke followed suit without needing to be instructed to.</p><p>“That’s all we can do for now. When he wakes, we can give Fujiwara something for the inevitable pain. As for his sleeping arrangements-”</p><p>“He can stay here,” Keisuke interrupted with a start, swiftly adding, “I can sleep on the futon.” </p><p>Ryosuke’s eyes narrowed. “Are you sure? The guest bedroom is always an option.”</p><p>“It’s fine, Aniki, really. I don’t mind.” Keisuke could only hope that he didn’t sound too happy at the forceful suggestion. </p><p>“As long as you don’t mind, then, I suppose it would be alright,” Ryosuke relented after a pause. He continued as his younger brother mentally celebrated, “Do you need help with anything else, like getting him in different clothes?”</p><p>“I can handle that too,” Keisuke replied, fighting back the jealous growl that threatened to spill out. Ryosuke wasn’t his competition, Keisuke knew that very well. And yet, he didn’t want to imagine his brother seeing Takumi in such a position. That should be for Keisuke and Keisuke alone, even if he didn’t really have the right. Not to mention that it wasn’t like Takumi would actually be revealing anything - just a bit of leg at most. </p><p>His brother thankfully let Keisuke’s eager willingness go, though the blonde was beyond doubt that his Aniki would have questions for him later. “In that case, I’m going to find his father’s number and inform him of what’s happened. Try and get some sleep.”</p><p>“You too,” Keisuke called after him, knowing Ryosuke would most likely not sleep that night and choose to work on another term paper instead. The door shut behind him softly, and just like that, Keisuke was alone again with the object of his affections.</p><p>A telltale blush crept upon his face at the mere notion of undressing the brunette. Shrugging off any other intentions, Keisuke settled into taking off his shoes and socks, placing them both neatly next to the bed. With the easy part out of the way, all that was left was the difficult task. </p><p>Hesitation pulled at the blonde before he ultimately leaned over Takumi, reaching a hand out to his jeans. He fumbled with the button as fast as possible, tugging down the zipper and gripping the waistband as much as he could without touching anything.</p><p>As he glided the jeans down, navy blue boxers greeted him and he couldn’t help but to grin. His man wore boxers.</p><p>Wait.</p><p><em>My man?! What the actual hell…</em> His thoughts screamed. <em>Dear God, I’m in too deep.</em></p><p>The panic stricken man exhaled audibly and folded up the jeans before swapping it out with the other clothes that laid on the chair. Keisuke made quick work of getting the sweatpants on him, his face alight with a red blush all the while. The black shirt came afterwards. He wouldn’t have minded just leaving him shirtless, but for as much as he longed to see him semi-naked for the night, the discoloration on his chest made his heart ache. The best solution was to simply cover him up, hiding a portion of the cruelty that had been afflicted on him.</p><p>With that done, Keisuke moved Takumi so he could lift the comforter out from under him and cover him with it. He unconsciously tucked the comforter against the brunette, ensuring the one who made his pulse race wouldn’t get cold. He then removed his own shirt and pants, opting to go with only a pair of plaid pajama pants that had been strewn across the carpet earlier.</p><p>As Keisuke hauled the futon mattress out of his closet, his mind swam of Takumi and the nature of their relationship. Takumi was his rival, and nothing more. It would be enough for him. He bit his lip uncertainly.</p><p>It had to be.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Nevermind</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In this chapter, Takumi has an Evangelion ceiling moment, Keisuke tries to be soft, and Ryosuke is blissfully away from the angst. </p><p>And my love for Third Stage bleeds through.</p><p>WARNING: this chapter contains sexual assault. If this bothers you in any way, shape, or form, please do not read.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ya'll, I'm so, so sorry this chapter is late. I don't want to be that writer that says "nEw ChApTeR nExT wEeK!" only for the story to say it was last updated in 2013. I've been dealing with my HR person who I refer to as Toby (not to her face, of course) withholding my checks for whatever reason. I've also been wanting to strangle the customers lately because <em>ma'am I work from home, I can't look for the fucking couch you bought in June.</em> Anyways. When I'm not working, I'm staring at GuruNeko's amazing Keikumi art for hours and losing my shit over how good it is. I know, I know, I should be using that time to write. For a second there, I totally hit a wall over how to make this chapter work, but I got it all figured out, so here it is. Hopefully it's decent.</p><p>This chapter's title is "Nevermind" by The Birthday Massacre, an absolutely incredible band. And just for good measure, here's that SEXUAL ASSAULT WARNING one more time. Please skip if this upsets you!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first thing Takumi thought when he woke up was how hard it was to see out of his right eye. Not only that, but it hurt like hell and felt odd, almost heavy. In fact, the pain seemed to slither down to his nose… Was it injured too?</p><p>He raised a hand up to feel the area only to freeze when an even greater pain that was akin to being beaten with multiple cinder blocks shot through his chest. Honestly, his whole body felt like it had been run over several times. Maybe moving wasn’t such a good idea right now.</p><p>Groaning, he squeezed his eyes shut. It was only when he realized that the dark room was being infiltrated with sunlight that he completely awakened.</p><p>Takumi instantly sat up, wincing all the while as his annoyingly sore body retaliated against the sudden movement. His eyes slid to the left instinctively to determine the time and fell on an unfamiliar alarm clock. With less than stellar vision and quite a bit of squinting, he eventually decided that the figures looked suspiciously like 9:20 AM. </p><p>
  <em>Shit.</em>
</p><p>Confused, irritated, and immersed in pain, Takumi considered what little information he had. He was physically wrecked and couldn’t begin to fathom where these injuries had come from. Just what the hell had happened last night?</p><p>“Oi, Fujiwara!”</p><p>The phrase kept coursing through his mind, endlessly replaying in a fragmented repetition. Takumi believed he’d heard it last night - no, he was sure someone had called out to him. Their voice had been taut, frayed with impatience and fatigue and possibly fear. Noises preceded the voice; high pitched squealing accompanied by a growl that grew louder and louder until it was practically breathing down his neck. A bone numbing cold enveloped the foggy memories that refused to surface completely. </p><p>Another important fact to ponder on was that Takumi was incredibly late for the daily tofu delivery. Why hadn’t his dad dragged his ass out of bed already? The brunette achingly flopped back down on the bed with an anxious sigh. If the pain that threatened to drown him didn’t kill him first, his dad surely would. He glared up at the tray ceiling before realization dawned on him.</p><p>
  <em>This isn’t my ceiling.</em>
</p><p>He bolted upwards with another agonizing start, eyes darting around the foreign room. The light gray walls were mostly covered by posters of fuzzy blobs that Takumi assumed were cars. Vehicle parts were neatly stacked throughout the room, obviously organized with care and not lazily strewn across the white carpet. Horror crawled up his spine, wary that this wasn’t just <em>anybody’s</em> bedroom.</p><p><em>No… it couldn’t be his room,</em> his mind assured weakly. <em>I’m just worrying over nothing.</em></p><p>Much to Takumi’s even greater dismay, his clothes were nicely folded on a chair, meaning someone had undressed him. His face burned at the thought of this mystery person -who he had a sinking feeling he knew the identity of- seeing him in such a vulnerable way.</p><p>The door to his right clicked as it opened and Takumi’s stomach dropped at the sight of the tall blonde figure standing in the doorway.</p><p>“It’s about time you woke up,” Keisuke said uncharacteristically softly, a small, somewhat forced grin on his face.</p><p>Takumi’s fearful assumption had been correct. “Keisuke-san, what’s going on?” He flinched at the hoarseness in his voice.</p><p>“I could ask you the same,” the blonde replied. He folded his arms across his chest. “I found you last night on Akina, looking like hell and freezing your ass off.” He grimaced, not intending to sound as harsh as he did. Takumi didn’t seem to mind, instead giving him a skeptical look.</p><p>“Why were you on Akina?”</p><p>Keisuke gritted his teeth in annoyance, allowing his anger to get the best of him for only a second. “You keep asking all the questions you should be answering…” He muttered under his breath, placing a hand on the back of his neck. “Look, I go up there every once in a while to practice, okay?”</p><p>That was the understatement of the decade. For the past six or seven weeks, Keisuke had taken to racing up and down Akina. Although the pass was clearly a great training tool for beginners and advanced racers alike, Keisuke could easily drift on Akagi if he was striving to refine his technique. The real reason he found himself on Akina every night before the Eight-Six arrived, and sometimes even during the day, was because he felt Takumi on those sacred roads.</p><p>He knew it was a crazy notion; feeling someone’s presence while driving on a damn mountain. And yet it was there, a force that tugged on every fiber of his being. He could feel Takumi right against the FD’s bumper, pressuring him from behind. He could feel the panda Trueno ride up on him from the side, robbing the pass of it’s darkness as the popup headlights flicked upwards. He could feel the Eight-Six in front of him, gaining distance and disappearing into the night. It was a comforting sensation that eased something in his notoriously wound up soul. If he lost himself in the rhythm of the car just enough, he could <em>see</em> the Ghost of Akina, blurring red brake lights and all pulling him along.</p><p>“That’s not important though,” Keisuke began again, ignoring the strange expression Takumi maintained. “Why were you on Akina last night in the middle of winter without a coat on? What happened to you?”</p><p>Ignorance had tainted Takumi’s memory until that moment. It came flooding back, rushing into his mind with a fervency, and everything now felt all too clear. Too real, too soon, just too much. There was a pause - a slight shift as Takumi clenched the comforter with tense hands and averted his gaze. Then came the quiet, but definitely not soft, “I don’t know.”</p><p>He said it with so much shame and heaviness in his voice that Keisuke surprised himself by feeling a stab of grief in the place of rage. Towering over him with questions as loaded as he had asked, he knew exactly how intimidating he was being. </p><p>What Keisuke didn’t know, however, was that telling anyone else, including Ryosuke, would have been much, <em>much</em> easier. Not because Keisuke was that hard to talk to - if anything, confessing to the dark haired Takahashi what had occurred hours ago would be the epitome of embarrassment. But informing Keisuke was on a whole other level, and for good reasons too.</p><p>Takumi had developed feelings for Keisuke.</p><p>The brunette wasn’t sure when it happened. He’d felt something snaking inside of him when Keisuke had flashed him that conceited smirk the first time they’d formally met moments before racing. It wasn’t love then, nor was it love when Keisuke had stopped him in the middle of a tofu run for a pep talk that ended in shouting and forcing deep truths upon Takumi. The feelings had for sure intensified that night, though.</p><p>It wasn’t until last night when he was in the process of being assaulted that he found himself desperate for a certain blonde to whisk him away. Takumi was wishing for the long, slender fingers, the blood pumping smirks, the magnetic pride, the growling voice. He had wanted Keisuke, the man he found so attractive and enticing, to save him. And now, here Takumi was, sitting in his envisioned rescuer’s bed, being prodded to talk about his disgraceful beatdown.</p><p>Again, Keisuke didn’t know any of that. Believing Takumi’s silence to be mostly his fault, he steeled his nerves and sat down on the edge of the bed. “I know I’m shit at this whole comforting crap and I can be… like, a lot, but,” he couldn’t contain himself anymore, and so he ran his fingertips just lightly across the other’s injured knuckles, “I’m here. And I’ll listen. I won’t make fun of you, if that’s what you’re thinking. I just… dammit, I want to be there for you.” He trailed off lightly, looking into Takumi’s hazel brown eyes which were currently transfixed on their miniscule physical contact.</p><p>Takumi appeared extremely conflicted, torn between mortifying honesty and silence. As the younger of the two worried his bottom lip, Keisuke thought about how much he would’ve loved to have been the one doing the biting. Want flared within him, forcing him to reel back and withdraw his hand. He didn’t want Takumi getting burned by the all consuming fire intent on smoking Keisuke and his lovesick heart out.</p><p>That seemed to shake Takumi from his thoughts. His eyes remained on his own hand where the blonde’s had been. “Where’s Ryosuke-san?” He questioned, dodging Keisuke’s attempts to interrogate for the millionth time. </p><p><em>He has to work up to it and cover all his bases,</em> Keisuke mused, slowly unravelling the enigma that was Takumi Fujiwara. “He’ll be at his classes until six… if you aren’t ready to tell him yet.” </p><p>Takumi nodded at that, diving back into his own mind. Defeat tugged at Keisuke and he wondered if even the most blinding of lights couldn’t clear through the mist the brunette was shrouded in. </p><p>“I shouldn’t be forcing you to talk about it. My bad for being such an asshole,” Keisuke said, the sad, grief-like ache returning to his chest. The bed underneath them dipped as he moved to stand up. A strong hand that clamped around his wrist stopped him.</p><p>Keisuke turned to face Takumi, astonished by the determined, almost resolute gaze that refused to avoid his own. He would’ve laughed in any other scenario. <em>Of course Takumi does the opposite of what he’s told,</em> he grinned inwardly. Settling back down, the hand unfortunately released his wrist, however, the eye contact remained.</p><p>“I was walking home from a friend’s house.” Inhaling shakily, Takumi peered down at the comforter blankly. Memories of leaving Itsuki’s cozy and inviting home and proceeding down the snow covered sidewalk filled his head. His brow furrowed. “I was so lost in thought, I didn’t even notice anything. At least, not at first.”</p><p>Dread ran through Keisuke and he winced, feeling as though he knew exactly what had kept Takumi’s mind so high in the clouds that day.</p><p>
  <em>“I heard,” Keisuke said, amusement evident in his voice. “You went up against an Evo III at Iroha Slope.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Takumi’s usual sleepy, careless demeanor fell away. “You already know about that?” He asked dumbfoundedly, eyes widening. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Those kinds of stories get spread around fast. Especially when they involve you.” The blonde wavered, signifying the conversation’s end concerning that subject. Takumi didn’t mind - simply knowing that Keisuke knew about his race just hours prior and even recognized it as a victory was enough for him. It was also the closest thing to praise he’d get out of the younger Takahashi. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It’ll be winter soon,” he continued, shifting his gaze to the left. “Our expeditionary plan will start in full in spring of next year, once the damn icy road season is over.” He faltered a bit before returning his levelled gaze onto Takumi. “You’re coming, right? With our new team?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A startled, incoherent noise slipped past Takumi’s lips as he looked taken aback. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Keisuke was back to staring out at the early morning sky, which now began to showcase hues of light pink and intense orange. “Aniki’s time limit is one more year. I want to give everything I’ve got during that year and race for his dream. In this ambitious game he’s so passionate about… what sort of outcome will we find?” His voice raised ever so slightly and emphatically. “That’s what I want to know. And if you let Aniki teach you, after one year, I’m sure you’ll be crazy good.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Keisuke didn’t give the almost-compliment time to sink in. “But I’m gonna get to a level far above even that. Our race will wait until then… But in exactly a year, I’ll beat you and try to go pro. I’m going to be a big, major league name, Fujiwara.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He suddenly tore his eyes away from the scenic view, focusing on Takumi with a soft look and an ever so alluring smile. “Come with us.” Takumi bit back the gasp that rushed through him. “Let’s do this - together,” Keisuke added with genuine sincerity before stalking to the driver’s side of the yellow vehicle and getting in.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Takumi could only watch as the FD spun around and tore down the pass, tires screeching all the while. The marks left on the pavement mirrored the long lasting effect the blonde and his words had on Takumi.</em>
</p><p>Takumi’s voice shook Keisuke out of his reverie from a few weeks ago on Mount Akina. “While I was walking, I saw his car slow down-”</p><p>“Whose car?” Keisuke interrupted.</p><p>“Miki’s,” Takumi nearly growled in a disgusted tone. Keisuke opened his mouth to ask more questions, but was silenced. “He… when I was a junior and he was a senior, I heard him saying… <em>things</em>. About a girl.” He broke off, mumbling, “I kind of beat him up for it.”</p><p>Keisuke was unable to hide his shock. “Holy shit, really?” He gaped, bordering on one of those rare times in his life when he was rendered speechless. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever picture Takumi being a fighter, or even someone who got heated at all.</p><p>Takumi nodded vacantly. “Yeah. But a few days ago, I got a phone call… from that girl.” Swallowing nervously, his face drained of all color. “Miki had forced her to go with him in his car to Lake Akina.” A mixture of ominous rage and sickness crossed the brunette’s features. “I followed them and chased him down until he spun out. She got in the Eight-Six and I stopped him from…” Feeling crushed by the weight of his words and the implications they held, Takumi let what he was saying come to a halt.</p><p>Uncertain of what to say and desperate to in some way drag him out of his despairing recollection, Keisuke said, “so, you saw his car slow down…?”</p><p>The color returned to Takumi’s face in an instant, much to Keisuke’s relief. “Right. He slowed down when he saw it was me.” His mind echoed with Miki’s snide, grating voice yelling his name through the rolled down car window. “I had decided to take the back way home that day since it was so late and that was the quicker option. That meant I was alone though… But I ignored him and kept going. He pulled ahead and stopped in front of the crosswalk, blocking my path. It was only when he got out that I noticed he had friends with him.” Takumi suddenly squeezed his eyes shut, audibly exhaling.</p><p>“How many were there?” The faintest inkling of fury had started to flicker inside of Keisuke, mixing and mingling with the already present flames of desire.</p><p>“Three, including Miki. Plus the two in the other car. Like I said, I was so preoccupied, I didn’t even realize there was a second car until it was too late.” A hand rose to rub at the back of his neck guiltily despite it inflicting pain onto his sore body. “When I saw them coming towards me, I just… froze. I didn’t even try to run.”</p><p>“It’s fine, Fujiwara. No one expects you to have done anything different. Hell, even if you had run, they had cars and would've chased you down. It wouldn’t have done you any good,” the blonde countered aggressively, hoping to help Takumi realize this fucked up situation wasn’t even close to being his fault. Gasoline had been poured into his smoldering core. Now he was just waiting for the match to truly instigate his temper.</p><p>“I tried to fight back,” Takumi stressed weakly as if he had something to prove.</p><p>“Your knuckles are enough proof of that,” Keisuke pointed out, knowing fully well Takumi’s hard earned battle scars validated his efforts. That little surge of pride flowed through him again, leaving his anger forgotten for a short while. After all, Keisuke was known for his own fair share of fights. Of course he would be interested in someone who could throw a punch.</p><p>“At some point, they held me down and Miki-” the teen suddenly stopped, breath hitching. “He…”</p><p>“…Attacked you?” Keisuke offered gently.</p><p>Takumi’s wild eyes connected with Keisuke’s. He blinked rapidly a few times, then nodded, murmuring “yeah, they attacked me,” while running a hand through his hair. Keisuke wasn’t sure if Takumi was still in shock or if there was more he hadn’t said, but he chose not to push it further. He was already seething; he didn’t need to get angrier and risk driving Takumi away.</p><p>Silence claimed the emotionally charged room. Takumi seemed to be deep in his memories and Keisuke’s hatred was so alive, he wasn’t sure if there was anything he could actually do at this moment to help him. The only thing on his mind was finding those assholes and tearing into them for all the damage they’d done.</p><p>“Can I use your phone?” Takumi’s timid request cut through the lull in conversation. “I need to call my dad.”</p><p>“Yeah, sure, of course.” Keisuke slipped his fingers into his back pocket, fishing out his cellphone. Placing it on the nightstand, he rose to his feet. “I’ll be downstairs. Take as much time as you need.” Just as he was pulling the door shut behind, Takumi’s voice surfaced again.</p><p>“Keisuke-san?”</p><p>The blonde turned to face him, hand on the doorknob.</p><p>“Thank you,” Takumi said, his worn, hazel orbs showing as much gratefulness as they could muster. “For everything.”</p><p>Keisuke gave him his most genuine smile, then stepped out of the doorway, swinging the door shut with him.</p><p>Now that he was entirely alone, his overtaxed emotions could seep out freely without worrying over who was watching. Staring out the glass doors to Keisuke’s balcony, Takumi’s lower lip began to quiver. Stinging tears welled up in his eyes before streaking down his face. </p><p>It was true, Takumi had yearned for Keisuke to save him when he was being beaten. He’d also had the same sentiments when Miki abruptly pulled him close.</p><p>
  <em>“I figured you out, Fujiwara,” he said, a sickening grin splitting his face. Takumi struggled against the weight that kept his arms pinned as Miki placed a rough hand on his bloodied cheek. “You know, most people wouldn’t have minded that whore Natsuki sleeping around with some older guy. As long as they still got to fuck her, right?” He leaned in, inching agonizingly closer. “Not you, though. And that’s because she just wasn’t your type…” He whispered the last few words into his ear; his breath drawing an involuntary shiver out Takumi.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He pulled back and locked eyes with him. “But I’m sure you’ll like this.” He thrust his body flush against Takumi, slamming their lips together. Takumi fought back but it was all in vain. His attempts at escape were met with the hands that mercilessly held in place.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Without breaking away, Miki slid his other hand up Takumi’s shirt and the latter stopped dead. Miki laughed darkly into his lips. The hand then darted downwards, running across his thigh before diving between his legs and squeezing. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Miki pushed off him with another stomach turning smirk. “Liked that, didn’t you, baby?” He said, releasing Takumi completely. The ones that had been holding him back promptly pushed him down and Takumi collapsed onto the snowy sidewalk. “It’s too bad I’m not a fag like you, Fujiwara.” With that, they delivered several more kicks to his aching chest. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hands reached down and hustled him out of his coat. “Consider this my fee,” Miki said, finally moving on from Takumi. Takumi listened to the sounds of their crunching footsteps and the banging of their car doors shutting. He waited for their roaring engines to fade away to get up. Takumi couldn’t go home like this - what the hell was he supposed to say to his dad? Or anyone, for that matter?</em>
</p><p><em>Akina cried out for him, and he decided to answer it.</em> </p><p>More tears were falling now. Still, he stifled the raw emotions threatening to bleed through. He had a phone call to make, and he couldn’t let his dad get the slightest hint that something was truly wrong. </p><p>And as much as he craved Keisuke, he couldn’t let him know either.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay that's as despairing as I'm letting it get because I'm truly starting to feel like Ann(e) right now (<em>"in the depths of despair"</em>). Next chapter has fluff, so yay, I think?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. You're Not Good Enough</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Takumi is awkward, Keisuke is overbearing, and Ryosuke is involuntarily forced into dealing their mess. You know, the usual.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I definitely didn't plan on going so long without an update, but it was honestly for the better. Being able to hold onto this chapter for a month let me plan ahead more so and come up with new, very cute, but very evil plot points which I'm excited to use later. Also, I sort of lied when I said there'd be fluff in this chapter. There's, like, a fun-sized amount of fluff. If you squint. It's really just angsty fluff because I'm apparently a cynic. </p><p>Anyways, this chapter's title comes from Blood Orange's "You're Not Good Enough".</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The phone was ringing and Takumi had no idea what he was going to say. He had lifted open the flip phone and squinted at the numbers for a good while before carefully tapping the buttons with his subpar vision. It was only when he held it up to his ear and heard the dial tone that he discovered he was at a loss for words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With his mind blanking, he prayed his father wouldn’t answer as it was too late now to back out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fujiwara Tofu Shop.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Dammit, old man!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, dad,” he choked out past the nervous lump in his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a pause as Bunta Fujiwara pulled the cigarette away from his lips and exhaled. “Takumi,” he said, his tone the same as ever, “wasn’t expecting to hear from you this soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Takumi narrowed his eyes, shoving down the irritation that welled in his stomach. “And why’s that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You tell me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time it was Takumi who forced the conversation into brief silence. His carotid pulse thrummed painfully against his neck as anxiousness robbed him of speech. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he replied lamely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s fine,” Bunta said, taking another drag of his cancer stick. “You know I’m the last person who’ll push you into talking. But if you ever do want to talk about it, I’m here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The brunette hesitated. Despite feeling incredibly delicate and unsure of what to do with his daunting emotions, he smiled. It was small and not enough to replace the anguish overwhelming him, but it was there. “Thanks, dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bunta merely grunted in response, and Takumi knew the hard part was next. The part he had been dreading; the part that was impossible to phrase eloquently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The words spilled off his tongue before he lost the nerve entirely. “Um, do you think you could… come to Takasaki and get me?” For as flakey as Bunta could be (or so Takumi pessimistically thought), surely he would be willing to drive the Eight-Six and bring Takumi home. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Surely.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why would I do something like that?” His father scoffed, not bothering to hide the teasing nature in his voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Feeling as though his fragile state had heightened to unimaginable degrees with just that one sentence, Takumi spat back, “what do you mean, ‘why would you do something like that’?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not like I’m saying no, you brat,” Bunta chuckled lightly. “It’s just that one of those Takahashi boys said they wanted to keep you at their place. Something about being able to keep a better eye on you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Takumi nearly dropped the damn phone. (Definitely a good thing he didn’t, considering he didn’t want Keisuke kicking his ass for breaking it.) At some point, one of the brothers had not only phoned his father, but specifically requested to </span>
  <em>
    <span>keep Takumi there</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Takumi had an inkling that it had been Ryosuke who had handled the phone call, though it didn’t attempt to quell his shock or embarrassment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oi, space case. You still there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Scrambling with the phone, Takumi spluttered, “yeah, sorry, I’m here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So I take it they didn’t tell you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmph. Damn kids. Well,” Bunta spoke past his cigarette, humor continuing to color his voice, “do whatever you want. If you want to come home, I’ll head up there after the shop closes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” In spite of getting the response he was hoping for, Takumi felt a foreign sensation tugging at his heart. “I need to think about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Think about it until your head hurts, dummy,” Bunta said softly, his steely words tinged with affection. “If you decide to stay there, have one of them come get your stuff.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And Takumi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His breath caught in his throat at his father’s odd tone. “Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Be careful with them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that final notion, the line clicked on the other end and Bunta Fujiwara hung up, leaving his son to muse over his words. Contemplating his own sentiments towards Keisuke, Takumi thought he knew exactly what his father had meant to be careful of.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Keisuke had never been very good at distracting himself when some other circumstance loomed over him. Sitting on the tan leather couch placed just so in the living room, this occasion was no different. He had read the exact same page of a random automotive magazine a dozen times but not a single syllable had truly stuck in his brain. At the moment, his head felt heavy, weighed down by the less than sufficient slumber and his constant brooding over Takumi.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Takumi.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>In the darkness of his bedroom, he’d peered up at his bruised, sleeping figure every few minutes. His guest would periodically shift, moving so that the moonlight fell upon him just right and would emphasize his exquisite features. The security and tranquility etched upon Takumi’s face was a falsehood. Keisuke understood that very well, to the extent where he couldn’t even begin to believe it, no matter how badly he wished to. Takumi’s discolored skin was enough evidence of that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde had been too distraught to let sleep pull him away, finding himself memorizing everything about Takumi’s physical appearance in lieu of. The brunette’s bruised eye held his attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Who did this to you?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The angry purple discoloration along his nose gave the impression of turning even darker when Keisuke surveyed it.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Damaged knuckles that would undoubtedly scar demanded his gaze. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What else did they do that I can’t see?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Keisuke abruptly resented his brother for not bandaging them. He resented the fact that he was being forced to look at them, to analyze them to the point that he would vividly see them when he shut his eyes. He oppressed a morbid laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m so fucking weak.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He had eventually succumbed to his body’s insistence at four, dreaming of the warm figure a few feet away all the while. Though he usually required no less than ten hours of sleep, he found himself up a little after seven. Even so, Keisuke didn’t make an effort to fall back asleep. He didn’t need ten hours of rest. He needed to be there for Takumi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And yet, Keisuke didn’t know how to be there for him. His inexperience was a glaringly obvious blemish in his underdeveloped plan for pursuing Takumi. All of Keisuke’s words of comfort were blanketed in anger, a tone he wasn’t sure how to change. His temper red lined all too easily, and when he’d woken up, he discovered himself at a loss as for what to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had glanced towards his bed after remembering why he was sleeping on the floor. Much to his shock, tears were running down the teen’s face. Takumi remained asleep, but as Keisuke moved to stand over him, he could distinguish the pain and borderline agony that had captured Takumi’s expression. A startling truth surfaced: Takumi was broken. He was unequivocally, undeniably, very broken. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Keisuke hadn’t registered what he was doing until he felt the searing tears against his skin. He gently brushed them away with his fingers, leaving the barest traces of touch along his face. As he chastised himself not to do more, his hand slid down until it was cupping Takumi’s jawline and cheek. For a brief moment, Keisuke stayed motionless in this sickeningly tempting position he had put himself in. Then, Takumi adjusted. He faintly leaned into Keisuke’s touch, their contact breezy but enough to cause Keisuke’s resolve to crumble.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The asphyxiation he developed in that moment had accompanied him since. He felt as if he were suffocating, being smothered by Takumi’s unbearably close but still so out of reach, overpowering presence. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>covered </span>
  </em>
  <span>in him. The entire house seemed to be draped in his love’s entity, and all Keisuke wanted to do was drown in him. He wanted nothing more than to be submerged in the flood that was Takumi Fujiwara and never breathe again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Keisuke came up for air each time the flood rose, and today, the waters were dangerously close to engulfing him completely. And so, he pushed himself off the couch and climbed the stairs up to Ryosuke’s room. With his own room occupied by the one person so unwittingly threatening his existence, Keisuke knew better than to calm himself in there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One of his brother’s many coats was hung neatly on the back of the swivel chair pushed against his desk and Keisuke slid a hand into the right pocket, withdrawing the pack of cigarettes and lighter that were always there. In spite of him insisting he was cutting back, Ryosuke had yet to quit entirely. That worked in Keisuke’s favor though, especially during times like these where he longed to turn his mind off and give in to the rush of nicotine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The balcony was a small, short lived sanctuary, Keisuke noted as the smoke billowing out of his cig dispersed into the harsh winter air. The sky was a brilliant, almost jarring shade of blue. Tiny white flakes descended lightly and littered the freshly paved roads. Keisuke took it all in with a much needed inhale, the chilling wind caressing his face and tearing through his locks all the while. It was a serene image and he thought that, at least for right now, he would be able to keep his head above the water. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde was taking a hit off his cigarette when the crushing sensation returned to his chest, knocking the air out of his lungs. He gasped involuntarily, recognizing that the flood hadn’t subsided but rather risen. Keisuke glanced over his shoulder, fighting through the stiflingly thick atmosphere. He’d left Ryosuke’s bedroom door open, and now Takumi stood skittishly in the doorway, his expression a mix of curiosity and fear. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How long has he been watching me?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Keisuke blatantly moved his gaze downwards, admiring the way Takumi wore his clothes. His physique was distinctly masculine, with broad shoulders and an attractive build. There was a softness to him though, a quality that balanced out his maleness quite well. It wasn’t exactly feminine, but Keisuke wasn’t certain he had the vocabulary to adequately describe it. He hoped that one day he would find the words so he could tell Takumi just how amazing he was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking a long drag, he said past the smoke, “I won’t bite, you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Takumi’s eyes widened briefly, looking as if he’d just been caught doing something he shouldn’t have. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare,” he apologized quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” Keisuke replied halfheartedly, exhaling smoke to cover his slip in tone. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re the only one I want staring at me</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “Did you talk to your dad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That classic glossy eyed, spaced out look overtook Takumi’s face, much to Keisuke’s relief. Visibly relaxing, he crossed the bedroom and stepped out onto the balcony. “Yeah, thanks for letting me,” he said, holding out the flip phone. Keisuke hummed in response and retrieved the black Nokia. Their fingers just barely brushed, and Keisuke recoiled, averting his gaze and brusquely shoving the damn phone into his back pocket. When he dared to look up, Takumi had settled into leaning over the balcony railing, facing the view. It left Keisuke’s blood snaking lower and lower into places it had no business going to at a time like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>For fuck’s sake, stop. Looking. Now’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>not </span>
  <em>
    <span>the time to be a perv!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“He said that you wanted me to, uh, stay here?” Takumi’s sheepishly asked question forced him to use his head and not the part of him that ached. “Not you specifically, I mean. I, um…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I do want you here.” At that, Takumi redirected his eyes onto his, a gentle shade of pink tinting his cheeks. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Too forward, fuckfuckfuck! </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Aniki thought it would be best if you stayed here while you recovered. You know, him being a future doctor and all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Did Takumi sound crestfallen or was it all in his head?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not a problem, is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, not at all, it’s just…” Takumi hesitated, adding quietly, “I don’t want to be a burden.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alarm flashed through the blonde. “What the hell makes you think you’ll be a burden?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Those hazel eyes were now swimming in desperation, seeming to intently search Keisuke’s for something. It overwhelmed Keisuke like few things had before. He’d never seen Takumi show this much emotion ever, nonetheless in the past day. Whatever Takumi had been seeking, he clearly didn’t find it. He turned away, eviscerating their microscopic connection for, what was in Keisuke’s mind, the millionth time.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How many times am I going to let myself get hurt today?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Takumi’s words left him no time to dwell on his pain. “Taking your bed, for one. You don’t need to sleep on the floor in your own room.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do, actually,” Keisuke said hotly. Somehow, his brain always managed to shape concern into anger. It was a very unwelcome “gift”, if you could even call it that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just because, okay?” He hadn’t meant to snap, really, but being so oxygen deprived as well as equally restrained over his feelings had Keisuke losing that tiny sliver of cool he hoped he possessed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever,” Takumi grumbled irritably in turn, prompting the blonde to wonder if he really did have some kind of temper concealed by that nonchalant façade.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Keisuke sighed around his cigarette. “You’re not a burden, Takumi.” He didn’t give a damn about being “polite” and using his family name anymore. He was tired of tip-toeing that line. It was about time he crossed it - if only just a little bit. “And as if it wasn’t obvious already, seeing as we literally offered you a spot on our new team, Aniki and I care about you. So get over yourself and let us help you.” When Takumi started to protest, he tacked on, “you can stay in the guest room if it makes you feel better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he’d even said it, Keisuke knew he had won that fight. “As long as you don’t mind then, fine.” Takumi begrudgingly gave in. “But I don’t have any of my things with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>An unruly grin spread on Keisuke’s face as he said without missing a beat, “Aniki or I will get whatever you need.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A lull in the conversation spread over them like the wintery air. For once, it wasn’t charged with electrifying emotions, whether they were the agony of unrequited love or their mutual frustration. Keisuke thought it was sort of nice until the picking up wind slammed into them and Takumi flinched, faintly rubbing his knuckles with his jaw clenched. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit, I didn’t even ask if you wanted to get checked by an actual doctor,” he blurted out, feeling like a bigger moron than the damn driver of that heavy ass R-32. “Do you wanna go to the hospital or something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Although he still appeared to be gritting his teeth and rigid from pain, Takumi shook his head. “I think I’ll be okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure? Aniki said you had hella busted ribs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, now that you mention it, breathing does kind of hurt.” A grimace darted across his face emphatically. As the pain receded, Keisuke nearly heard Takumi’s brain connecting the dots over his comment. The pink blush that hadn’t fully disappeared blossomed and evolved into cherry status. “So does that mean, um, that Ryosuke-san, uh…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Keisuke had the slightest hint he knew what he was getting at. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Poor kid can’t even finish the sentence. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“No, I did.” He replied point blank. Takumi’s even bolder, more inflamed Pikachu cheeks were so adorable, Keisuke made a mental note to embarrass him again sometime soon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course you did,” Takumi muttered, absolutely mortified.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What, would you rather have had Aniki dressing you?” Keisuke asked, feeling more miffed at his own suggestion than he would’ve liked to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, that’s not it.” The blush fell away at an unnerving speed and he looked up at Keisuke seriously. “Part of it is I don’t want to be touched.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What the hell is that supposed to mean? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Keisuke wondered incredulously, taken aback.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, I’m not trying to be ungrateful. I’m kind of messed up right now.” Takumi gave up trying to articulate his thoughts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Standing so close to him, Keisuke could sense Takumi’s hopelessness coming off of him in waves. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Or maybe it’s just my own.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Either way, Keisuke kept all of the things he wanted to do and say in check. </span>
  <em>
    <span>The last thing he needs right now is my dumbass self confessing and causing even more problems.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, anyone would be after that,” Keisuke offered, cursing himself for how feeble everything he said sounded. He nervously ran a hand through his hair. “Do you at least want to bandage your knuckles? That cold air can’t be too good for them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Actually, I wouldn’t mind doing that.” Though he remained reluctant, Keisuke seemed to have finally swayed Takumi into doing something beneficial and easing what little discomfort he could.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, let me find the first aid kit then. I think Aniki keeps one in here somewhere.” Keisuke snatched the ashtray that lay on the small outdoor table on the corner of the balcony and put out his half smoked Marlboro. He padded into the toasty, carpeted bedroom. Facing his brother’s desk, he yanked out all of the drawers until he reached the bottom one where a small white box sat expectantly. “Here, sit on his bed. We’ll just do it in here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Takumi complied, placing himself on the very edge of the mattress. Keisuke sat next to him, albeit not as delicately. He went to work prying open the white plastic and plucking out the tan colored rolls of elastic bandage. The blonde gingerly took Takumi’s open right hand, lightly pulling it closer to him until it was centimeters from touching his thigh. At once, the first roll grew smaller in size with Keisuke carefully wrapping it over the raw skin. Takumi silently observed the whole scene unfold as more and more of the fabric tenderly encased his maimed hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Takumi’s impactful words spoken earlier penetrated Keisuke’s mind. “You shouldn’t be letting me do this, you know,” he said scoldingly, continuing to bandage Takumi’s hand regardless. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?” The genuine innocence in Takumi’s reply pushed Keisuke’s guilt that much further.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde’s brow furrowed in admonishment. “You just got done telling me you didn’t want physical contact and here I am, crossing another line and throwing consent to the damn wind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I don’t mind your touch,” Takumi conceded in a level voice. “Yours is… nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Keisuke paused his motions when heat inside of him followed Takumi’s breathtakingly honest words. There it was again - that sparking, roaring fire alight within him that he had fought so hard against earlier that morning. The tightness in his aching chest dwindled completely and all that was left was the inferno swirling about his captive heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can’t fight it anymore.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Keisuke resumed his actions wearing an uncontrollable smile he didn’t even try to reign in. Finishing with the left hand, Keisuke moved on to the other one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, I’m glad I was the one to dress you,” he said boldly. Though both hands were now taken care of, Keisuke didn’t let go. “You look good in my clothes.” Their gazes connected and his grin widened at Takumi’s flustered reaction. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You look good in general, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Keisuke’s thoughts whispered. He opened his mouth to say just that when Takumi’s eyes darted behind him, widening significantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ryosuke-san?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mind short circuited. A chill equivalent to the iciness Lake Akina was currently layered under swept over Keisuke. Whirling around, he was struck by Ryosuke’s brisk, calculating stare as his brother stood still in the entrance. The fire died out instantly.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ryosuke, I- 💀💀</p><p>Yeah that's all I got for end notes lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Shame</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Emotions run incredibly high and some secrets are revealed. Really, it's just angsting in the 90s at this point.</p><p>And, as it turns out, our resident Tofu Boi isn't as clueless as he seems.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A character fucks up in this chapter. Please don't hate them. They redeem themselves, I promise. 😭😭 Eek, we're getting closer and closer to some of the chapters I'm excited to write! And I can guarantee they're not all drenched in depression like these are lmao.</p><p>Song suggestion/chapter title comes from The Motels' "Shame".</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Aniki, what are you doing here?” Keisuke stammered, releasing Takumi’s hand and launching off the bed. He strained to hear his brother’s response over his roaring pulse.</p><p>“Classes were cancelled today.” Ryosuke’s dark eyes wandered between him and Takumi for several thundering heartbeats. Keisuke didn’t have the strength to force his head into turning and glancing at the silent, panic stricken brunette. He felt as though he were going to pass out any second, certain that his brother had seen and heard far too much. “I assume you informed Fujiwara of the arrangements we made?”</p><p>Keisuke coerced himself into giving a shallow nod. Biting down his rising nausea, he added weakly, “but someone needs to get his stuff.”</p><p>“I’ll let you do that then. I need to speak with Fujiwara in the meantime.”</p><p>“But Aniki-”</p><p>His brother’s gaze narrowed considerably as he scathingly cut Keisuke off. “That wasn’t a request, Keisuke.” He managed to sound even harsher without raising his voice. “Come with me for now. Fujiwara, I’ll be right back,” he tacked on in a softer voice. He spun on his heel, leaving Keisuke with little choice but to miserably obey. He followed Ryosuke without so much as a glimpse at Takumi.</p><p>Once they were in the grand kitchen and far enough away that they could converse without being overheard, Ryosuke settled against the marble countertop. “Keisuke, you have quite a bit of explaining to do.”</p><p>“What are you talking about?” Keisuke asked, poorly attempting to deflect. His brother saw right through him as if he were glass.</p><p>“You know <em>exactly</em> what I mean, and I don’t appreciate you acting otherwise.” Keisuke remained analyzing the floor unswervingly, so Ryosuke calmly stated, “you’re in love with Fujiwara.”</p><p>Keisuke’s eyes didn’t move, nor did a gasp leave his mouth. None of those actions were needed, though. Keisuke knew his brother could feel his imperceptible waver; he knew he could see his nonexistent flinch. Ryosuke could read him better than anyone and everyone. It had always been that way, and so far, that didn’t appear to be changing.</p><p>“You are, aren’t you?” Ryosuke pressed further.</p><p>Snorting, Keisuke smiled bitterly. “I’m not going to tell him how I feel and fuck up your project, if that’s what you’re getting so pissed about, Aniki.”</p><p>“This has nothing to do with the damn project, Keisuke!” His brother finally snapped, jarring Keisuke out of his sulking. “I don’t want to see you get hurt.” Those glittering, near black eyes lessened their piercing quality, unveiling the profound care he held for Keisuke that so often went unsaid.</p><p>Keisuke could only shake his head in disbelief. “So, when did you figure it out?”</p><p>“Just now, although I’ve had my suspicions for several months.”</p><p>“Of course you have,” Keisuke scoffed.</p><p>Ryosuke shot him an odd look. “Keisuke, I don’t know if you’ve realized this, but you’re highly obsessed with Fujiwara.”</p><p>The blonde’s eyebrows shot up. “Okay, for real this time, what the hell are you talking about?”</p><p>“When Fujiwara first beat you, your fixation with the eight-six was understandable. It wasn’t even a full blown obsession at that point. You simply wanted answers and a sense of revenge for having your consecutive winning streak shattered. However, we all expected to see it dissipate to some degree, if not entirely, in the weeks following.”</p><p>Ryosuke seemed equally exasperated and humored as he continued, “Keisuke, you literally tracked him down at three in the morning to <em>lecture</em> him. It stopped being about the vehicle that night. You only solidified that change when you hounded him over only having permission to lose to one of us.”</p><p>Keisuke opened his mouth to interject, but a raised hand stopped him. “I’m not done. When the eight-six’s engine was blown, you scrambled to find Fujiwara and convince him it wasn’t a true loss. Then, you promised to avenge him - a promise you wholeheartedly fulfilled and then some.</p><p>“Nonetheless, all of those events could have been chalked up to a bond forged out of loss and rivalry. You going to Akina and insisting he join Project D was the last component I needed to believe it was far more than that.” The corners of Ryosuke’s lips turned upwards smugly. “And that goes without mentioning your incessant behavior last night. I don’t remember the last time I witnessed you blushing so much.”</p><p>Keisuke rolled his eyes in the place of a comeback he was acutely aware he didn’t possess. “Okay, so maybe I’ve been a little obsessive or whatever, but it’s not like it matters. He’s obviously not into me. Besides, I don’t have the balls to act on it.”</p><p>One of Ryosuke’s eyebrows quirked. “So then what do you call what you were just doing? <em>Not</em> acting on it?”</p><p>“Shut up,” Keisuke hissed, glaring lethally. “Look, I let my emotions spill for a second, but it won’t happen again.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t say it’s completely one sided, Outoto.” A sigh echoed his words as Ryosuke sought out the precise phrasing. “You’ve been so wrapped up in your own emotions, it’s made you oblivious to his reactions. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.” The smallest sliver of hope tinged his voice, a sentiment Keisuke found all too cruel.</p><p>The blonde moved to lean against the opposite side of the counter where the black leather bar stools sat. An emotion-wrought stillness engulfed them as his eyes traced the twisting marble patterns.</p><p>Finally, Keisuke murmured, “I want him bad, Aniki. But I don’t know what the fuck to do about it.” He tapped his fingers against the cool surface uneasily. “He’s messed up. Some assholes beat him up as a way to get back at him. I mean, there were five of them. What the hell was he supposed to do?” He tore his furious gaze away from the counter and directed it to his brother’s. Those oceanic depths crackled with electricity.</p><p>“His injuries indicated it was an unfair fight,” Ryosuke said mournfully. “What were they getting back at him for?”</p><p>Keisuke’s blue eyes looked away once more. “Defending a girl’s reputation and keeping her from getting raped.” Sensing how startled his brother was, he went on, “he didn’t get into the details, but he said that much. He also said he didn’t want anyone touching him.”</p><p>When he peered up at Ryosuke in search of a possible answer, he was met with a thoughtful, albeit bleak expression. “Keisuke, was Fujiwara just physically attacked or did something more happen?”</p><p>Caught off guard, he replied, “what’s that supposed to mean?”</p><p>Ryosuke paused, briefly studying Keisuke. “It’s most likely nothing.”</p><p>That exact alarm he’d felt when Takumi had vocalized his feelings skittered up Keisuke’s spine for a second time. Bewildered, he contended shakily, “Aniki, you don’t think that they-”</p><p>“It was merely a theory. We don’t know if anything more actually occurred, so don’t jump to conclusions just yet.” Despite Ryosuke’s rational thought process, Keisuke could tell he was honestly assessing his unspoken proposal.</p><p>Nodding lightly, Keisuke raised a hand up to his hair, his fingers combing through untamed, flashy spikes. A cocktail of responses surged through him - an excruciating sense of loss and revolting sickness, but the most prominent of them all was that adrenaline provoking, crescent moons on palms digging, visionless anger.</p><p>“I need to get out of here,” Keisuke heard himself all but snarl. </p><p>“Okay. His address is in the glovebox of the FC. It’s unlocked.” Ryosuke’s voice pushed through his senseless rage. With one final curt nod, Keisuke roughly retrieved his car keys out of his pocket and stalked out of sight.</p><p>--</p><p>
  <em>“What the hell makes you think you’ll be a burden?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Impulsiveness shifted Takumi’s eyes onto Keisuke’s. They were apprehensive, the edge to them gone. The grief-like quality to them wounded Takumi. It was obvious Keisuke was worried, and he wanted nothing more than to take that fretting away. Takumi knew his honesty had that power, and yet, he couldn’t do it. He moved his eyes back to the sky whose shade of blue didn’t even begin to compare to Keisuke’s gaze. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The brunette shrugged off a part of his guilt and replaced it with another. “Taking your bed, for one,” he responded blankly. “You don’t need to sleep on the floor in your own room.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I do, actually.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Takumi blinked and discovered hope creeping in. Though Keisuke’s words had only baited him so far, he still held the belief that the blonde would reciprocate his feelings and ease his broken state.</em>
</p><p><em>“Why?” Takumi asked.</em> Just say it, Keisuke, <em>his thoughts pleaded,</em> please, say something so I don’t have to.</p><p>
  <em>“Just because, okay?” Keisuke snapped vehemently.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Irritation surged through Takumi’s veins and mingled with the longing and despair already present. “Whatever.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Keisuke quickly recovered and their conversation continued, but it did little good. Those confusing, contradicting feelings still welled up inside of Takumi, promising to leave him in pieces. While physical contact made his skin crawl, Takumi recognized that in a paradoxical way, it would be the one thing to help him. He wanted to do more than drag a confession that may or may not be there past Keisuke’s lips - he wanted those lips against his. Miki’s disgusting taste was still fresh in his mouth and he wondered if Keisuke’s kiss could drive it out. He wondered if maybe those hands running across his body could act as an exorcism of sorts.</em>
</p><p>Memories of the many encounters he’d shared with Keisuke over the past twenty-four hours ate away at Takumi’s mind. The way he tenderly folded the elastic wrap over his injured skin evoked a feeling in Takumi that he’d had for Keisuke only. In spite of the blonde’s lack of words, Takumi decided his affections weren’t unrequited. Keisuke’s warm, lingering touch afterwards and that comment -God, <em>that comment</em>- helped to establish the teen’s case. There was most definitely something between the two, even if ninety-nine percent of it originated from Takumi.</p><p>Footsteps along the carpeted hallway alerted Takumi of someone approaching - those same footsteps he failed to pick up on when he and Keisuke were sharing a rather intimate moment. Ryosuke’s expressionless face appeared in the doorway yet again. He placed a hand on the jamb, ever so slightly leaning against it.</p><p>“Are you alright with staying in the guest bedroom down the hall?”</p><p>Takumi nodded wordlessly and moved off the bed. The older of the two turned away and led them down the hall, past Keisuke’s room along with several other doors. They stopped at the end of the hallway where a closed door lay waiting directly in front of him and not on the walls to his left and right. </p><p>With a single twist of the knob, Ryosuke swung the door open. A spacious room with ivory walls and plush purple carpet greeted them. A few pieces of cherry wood furniture casually littered the area, including two nightstands, a dresser, and a headboard. The bed was covered neatly by an abstract, watercolor comforter. Pushed against the wall was a blue-green canvas sofa that was accompanied by a glass, oval shaped coffee table. The room was devoid of windows with a balcony larger than Ryosuke’s or Keisuke’s in its place. Blue curtains obscured the glass doors.</p><p>“There’s a private bathroom over there,” Ryosuke said, nodding his head in the direction of the closed door next to the couch. “I realize it isn’t much, however, I’m sure it’ll meet your needs.”</p><p>“Of course, thank you,” Takumi murmured, adjusting to the luxury of the bedroom that “wasn’t much”. </p><p>He risked a glance up at Ryosuke. Appearing lost in thought, his vision focused when he noticed those hazel brown eyes on him. Ryosuke seemed to be contemplating how to proceed.</p><p>“Fujiwara, would you mind discussing your attack with me?” </p><p>Although Takumi felt himself bristling, he replied, “I guess.”</p><p>“Good. Please, make yourself comfortable.” Ryosuke gestured towards the bed. Takumi forced himself to step within the confines of the bedroom, placing himself on the edge of the bed in what could be called an anything but comfortable position. Ryosuke moved to stand before him, folding his arms across his chest.</p><p>“I’m just going to ask you a few questions, and if you decide not to answer or that you’ve had enough, I’ll stop immediately.”</p><p>Takumi merely nodded his consent.</p><p>“Keisuke gave me an overview of what happened,” he began, sounding as distant and detached as a doctor, the doctor he would one day be. “I know there were five aggressors and that it was an act of revenge. Is that correct?”</p><p>“Yes,” the brunette said wearily, fatigue suddenly making its presence known. His adrenalin had spiked far too often in such a short time period that tiredness now tugged at his overtaxed consciousness. </p><p>“Do you plan on filing a police report?” </p><p>“<em>No.</em>” Takumi said shortly, nearly startling his interrogator. Ryosuke had been expecting such a reaction, though, especially if his hunch was more than a suspicion. He squared his shoulders and recommenced his questioning.</p><p>“Is there a reason for that? Surely reporting an assault would put your mind at ease?” Ryosuke understood the dangerous line he was walking, but he continued to manipulate the teen. </p><p>Takumi shivered, knowing what that would entail. “It’s more complicated than that,” he admitted. He would have to repeat last night’s events in graphic, explicit detail, multiple times over. He would be uncomfortably analyzed to an extent he wasn’t sure he could withstand. The worst of it all was that he would most likely be required to identify his attackers, to look them directly in the eye and feel their stares, even when he knew they wouldn’t be able to see him. </p><p>“Fujiwara, is there…” Ryosuke’s words stopped, visibly hesitating. His medical air fell away and genuine concern warmed his tone by several degrees. “Did something else happen that you haven’t told Keisuke?”</p><p>Takumi’s panic rose at that question, mounting and breaking through his tiredness. The urge to run flashed through his mind. “What?”</p><p>Ryosuke’s worry intensified over Takumi’s palpable reaction. “Keisuke said you didn’t want to be touched.”</p><p>The brunette sensed that his eyes had widened, but his already poor vision shrunk as anxiety blackened the edges of his sight. The tunnel vision strengthened with every throbbing beat of his heart. “I want to stop.”</p><p>“Fujiwara, I need to know if they-”</p><p>“<em>I said I want to stop!</em>” Takumi cried out, his voice raised enough so that Ryosuke winced. Tears welled up, steadily slipping down before he could catch them. He turned his face away, failing to catch Ryosuke’s hurried, uncharacteristically spooked exit.</p><p>The door clicked shut and Takumi’s eyes fell onto his bandaged hands, producing more tears. Thoughts of a certain blonde consumed him as he silently wept.</p><p>-- </p><p>The drive to Shibukawa was spent white knuckling the poor steering wheel and occasionally punching it whenever a redlight forced him to stop (he apologized profusely after each strike). Ryosuke’s bit about not jumping to conclusions obviously had no effect on Keisuke’s racing mind. All he could think about was the possibility that something much, much worse had happened to Takumi. Something that not only made him blind with fury, but also something for which he didn’t have the slightest clue on how to handle. Keisuke’s uselessness simply made him angrier.</p><p>However, as Keisuke pulled up in front of the address so eloquently jotted down in his brother’s journal, a sense of composure washed over him. Pushing the FD’s door open, he stepped out and took in the outside of the building. It was a modest, two story house with a partial brick exterior and a white and yellow sign that read <em>Fujiwara Tofu Shop</em>. Framed windows on the first floor were plastered with advertisements. Above the sign, the house morphed into a faded beige color. </p><p>A glimmer to his right caught Keisuke’s attention. Tucked into the alley next to the building was the infamous Panda Trueno, basking in the midday sunlight and looking innocent enough. For as vicious as he knew she could be, the car was rather cute looking when she wasn’t baring her fangs. The thought made Keisuke smile as he entered the shop.</p><p>The blonde was promptly greeted to a vacant counter. Behind it was an archway that was halfway covered by a blue curtain. Almost positive that he could hear the sound of a television coming from past the curtain, Keisuke impatiently called out, “hello?”</p><p>“Be right with you,” a gruff voice sounded back, confirming that someone had been in the room past the shop portion. A man who Keisuke immediately identified as Takumi’s father surfaced moments later. He was thin, with broad shoulders and short, black hair that bordered on salt-and-pepper and clearly grew in much like his son’s. Cigarette in mouth and no nonsense face primed, he stopped at the counter expectantly.</p><p>“Excuse me for intruding, sir, but I’m-”</p><p>“You’re one of those Takahashi boys. Keisuke, if I’m correct,” Bunta interrupted, exhaling smoke. At Keisuke’s surprised nod, he continued, “his stuff’s upstairs. It’s the second door.” Dismissing him, he turned in his tracks and moved back into the other room, leaving Keisuke to trail after. He flung back the curtain, seeing Bunta resettle himself on the tatami mat next to the low table. A worn ashtray and a partially empty glass of sake sat atop it.</p><p>“Don’t you want to know how your son is doing?” Keisuke asked aggressively, eyebrows furrowing. </p><p>Bunta shook out the newspaper, using it to mask the smile that rose at the blonde’s protective stance over his son. “You can tell me how he is when you come back down.”</p><p>Stupefied, Keisuke blinked, just barely remembering to take off his shoes before crossing the threshold into the living room. He headed towards the archway and up the curving stairs, passing by the twin doors that held the bathtub and vanity as well as the separate toilet. The second floor was home to a short hallway and two doors, one on the left and another directly in front of him. Walking past what he assumed to be Bunta’s bedroom, he let his hand twist the doorknob and push the door forward, ignoring his sudden nervousness.</p><p>He let his gaze wander over everything within the compact, minimalist room lazily. A twin sized bed was tucked into the corner, adorned in a light blue comforter. Behind it was a dark headboard that doubled as a nightstand with a dated clock resting on it. A simple desk and matching chair stood in the opposite corner. Two windows shed light into the room, one between the bed and desk and the other above the bed on the adjacent wall. Nudged against the closed closet was a black duffel bag.</p><p>Though sparse, Keisuke could still make out the clear details of Takumi’s personality shining through. Everything about the bedroom was neat and in place, including the few car books and magazines that were located just so on the desk. A white shelf was filled to the brim with CDs and cassette tapes, ranging from genres like Eurobeat, J-Pop, and rock to artists such as Ayumi Hamasaki to Miho Nakayama. Atop the shelf was a black boombox that accompanied the many albums nicely. Spying a certain pink CD with the name <em>Britney Spears</em> spelled out in katakana, Keisuke’s rage melted into a grin.</p><p>Keisuke padded into Takumi’s room, feeling the energy of the quiet Eight-Six driver surrounding him instantaneously. He lifted the already packed bag, positioning the strap over his shoulder. He drank in one last look at the room and proceeded to return to the lower floor.</p><p>“Is this everything?” Keisuke asked on the last step.</p><p>Without so much as a glance in his direction, Bunta replied, “the other bag’s in the bathroom.”</p><p>Sapping all of his self restraint to keep from rolling his eyes at the other man’s nonchalance, Keisuke complied. The tiny bathroom consisted of a small, porcelain sink and mirror and an equally small bathtub. A clear bag with a plastic slider had been set down on the edge of the sink’s counter. Picking it up, Keisuke began to analyze its contents. Each item was obviously chosen with consideration and not haphazardly bought, like the cinnamon toothpaste and better than average strawberry scented shampoo.</p><p><em>Never took Takumi as the type that’s so particular,</em> he thought to himself with a quiet hum. <em>I like that</em>.</p><p>When he yet again returned to the living room, the TV had been switched off. Bunta folded the newspaper up, saying only, “sit.”</p><p>Keisuke set the bags down carefully and dropped onto the tatami mat across from Takumi’s father. The older man offered him a cigarette which he more than obliged in.</p><p>Taking a hit off his cigarette, he murmured, “tell me how he’s doing.”</p><p>“He’s…” Keisuke found himself hesitating, picking apart the conversations he’d had with Takumi and Ryosuke that morning. He lit his own cigarette and let the nicotine calm his badly frayed nerves for a moment before responding. “He’s really shaken up, Fujiwara-san. Some bastards gave him a black eye and cracked ribs.”</p><p>“Your brother told me last night,” Bunta murmured. “There’s more though, isn’t there?”</p><p>Keisuke unintentionally ran a hand through his blonde hair. “He’s freaked out, but I… I don’t think it’s because of them attacking him,” he bit out. He looked down at the table. “Aniki thinks something else happened.”</p><p>Bunta said nothing, and when Keisuke coaxed himself into peering up at him, he discovered no change. His expression and demeanor remained as stoic as ever. Instilled by his quicker than lightning temper, outrage flooded his senses. Stronger than that though was a mourning sensation, the feeling that he’d lost something, urging him to say more.</p><p>“Takumi said he didn’t want to be touched,” Keisuke nearly whispered through the onslaught of heavy emotions suddenly crushing him. His vision was blurring and wet heat sprang up along his eyes. Refusing to cry, he said in a rough, shaky voice, “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m getting so upset.”</p><p>
  <em>Liar.</em>
</p><p>“I’m glad you care about my son so much, Keisuke-kun.” The gentleness startled Keisuke, sobering him up completely. Bunta heaved a sigh and put out his smoke. “But whether or not more happened, he’s going to need someone to be there for him. If it’s too much for you two, let me know and I’ll come get him.”</p><p>Bunta gave him a hard stare, one he passionately matched. “I’ve got him, Fujiwara-san. I promise.”</p><p>The elder gave a single nod of approval. “In that case, you should be getting back to him.”</p><p>The blonde put his cigarette out at his second dismissal. “Of course,” Keisuke replied, rising with the bags in hand and crossing the living room. He slipped his loafers on and peeled back the curtain.</p><p>“And Keisuke-kun?”</p><p>Keisuke glanced over his shoulder.</p><p>“Take care of my son.”</p><p>Keisuke felt his heart stutter. The <em>or else</em> was implied.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ryosuke why did I write you like thatttt</p><p>Yes, I 100% believe Takumi is in the Britney Army and no, you cannot change my mind. I like to think he would be out at the #FreeBritney protests lolll</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Only Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A Keisuke heavy chapter where he considers his situation, lightly cares for Takumi, and, of course, cries. Also Ryosuke for the win.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A bit of a shorter chapter (I know, not what you want to hear after my two month hiatus from this fic). Next chapter makes up for it, though. I'm suddenly hella exhausted so excuse the lack of notes. (And the updates. December/January was spent watching Selena on Netflix multiple times, crying to Evermore, and falling in love with my dog for the millionth time. Chapter Six won't take 2 months to come out, I promise lol.)</p><p>Song title/suggestion is Selena's "Only Love".</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Upon arriving home, Keisuke discovered the mansion to be filled with a tension greater than the one he had left it in. He ritualistically discarded his shoes at the entrance, listening for any signs of conversation or life in the house. The silence it was drenched in was unnerving, even if he knew it would be near impossible to hear much from the upper floor. Something about it simply felt off.</p><p>Clutching the bag’s straps tightly in one hand, he hiked up the stairs. Keisuke recognized that his brother was out, seeing as the FD’s partner was distinctly absent when he pulled into the garage. Nonetheless, seeing his bedroom door shut with no light flooding out underneath it was a strange, ominous sight at the moment.</p><p>Three soft knocks on the guest bedroom door warranted no response. He cracked open the door, peeking in just enough to see why the house was so quiet. Takumi was curled up under the comforter, getting what appeared to be much needed rest. Although initially dumbfounded that he could fall back asleep after being out cold for over twelve hours, Keisuke reasoned that it was definitely called for. Takumi didn’t seem like he ever got enough down time in general, and that was without factoring in the attack.</p><p>Thus, Keisuke soundlessly set the bag down near the entrance and retreated down to the first floor. He brought back with him a bottle of water and a small packet that held ibuprofen. Keisuke had no way of knowing whether or not Ryosuke had already given Takumi some, yet he figured taking a bit more wouldn’t do any harm. Both were left on the nightstand, after which he flicked off the lamp that Takumi had neglected to turn off in his apparent haste to become dead to the world. </p><p>With his hand on the door jamb and his back to the unconscious figure in bed once more, Keisuke felt what must’ve been the overly sappy, irrational part of his mind urging him to watch Takumi. Like wind charging at a wiry, defenseless tree, it prompted Keisuke to continue memorizing each minute detail on that angelic face, to bend to its will. He opted to delicately pull the door shut behind him with a slight shake of his head. Taking his own exhaustion into consideration, along with his bedroom now being available, he made his way to his bed and promptly flopped down on it.</p><p>With his back on the mattress and his feet on the floor, he found his mind wandering over things aside from wanting to throat punch Takumi’s attackers repeatedly while wearing spiked knuckle dusters. Things like how long until those distressing bruises faded, or what the appropriate length of time was for cracked ribs to heal. Really, selfishly, those questions were the front for much larger and egocentric thoughts looming over him: when would Takumi have to leave, and would that be enough time to say something. And, of course, <em>would</em> Keisuke even say anything, or would he just let it go. That was another one of those damn questions incessantly haunting him, pulling him away from the sleep he craved.</p><p>Going over what little information from high school he had held onto, Keisuke worked out that Takumi was on his winter holiday. Hypothetically, if the break had begun just yesterday, then they still had thirteen days including this one. <em>Thirteen days to hold him hostage and see if I can get my feelings reciprocated.</em> Well, maybe “hostage” wasn’t the best term to use in this situation. Going down on his knees and begging him to stay really wasn’t his style, though. Unless he was going down on his knees for a different reason-</p><p>Thirteen days wasn’t much, but it would have to be enough. He couldn’t keep suffocating, living this lie, pretending that everything was fine when it wasn’t. Not when the remedy was so close. </p><p>Keisuke twisted onto his side and stared out the glass balcony doors. Part of him couldn’t believe he was even indulging in this absurd idea. Then again, his brother’s words, though not very convincing, had definitely done damage. <em>Maybe there really is something between us and I’ve just been too much of an ass to notice it. Who the fuck knows.</em></p><p>Venting a frustrated sigh, he rolled onto his back once more, combing his fingers through his hair irritably. Wracking his brain for signs of possible affection or infatuation on the younger driver’s part drew up nothing, although he couldn’t say that surprised him. Feelings that went past a cold and prompt fuck tended to alude the blonde to the point that even now, his affinity felt foreign and uncomfortable at times. Keisuke knew all about the girls in the racing galleries screaming his name, or the women and occasional men who would shoot him uninhibited and rather unwelcomed looks. He’d be a liar if he said he didn’t oblige in their quick company every now and then, but the girls only reminded him of how un-Takumi like they were, and the men often influenced him into crying out Takumi’s name upon completion. (An action that always evoked anger within his temporary partners.) The last time he’d let his name slip was also the last time he had been willing to let someone else touch him. Foolish and sentimental as it was, if he couldn’t have Takumi, then he just wouldn’t have anyone.</p><p>The blonde fully intended on following that desperate mantra, and even believed he could cling to it throughout Project D’s course. But Takumi - he just <em>had</em> to be on that mountain last night. Ryosuke just <em>had</em> to tell him the feelings may be mutual, and Bunta God damn Fujiwara just <em>had</em> to sense something going on between Keisuke and his son. <em>Damn perceptive bastard. All I had to do was walk in and he immediately picked up on it.</em> Smirking, his irritation diffused some as he thought smugly, <em>well, it’s not like his dad objected to whatever’s going on between us. That’s the closest thing to a blessing I’ve gotten so far.</em></p><p>Putting in the effort to imagine his own parents’ reactions to their troubled son’s love interest seemed incredibly pointless. He figured they wouldn’t be all too happy, though. Nonetheless, for as much as he despised giving himself false hope, every fiber of his being prayed for Ryosuke’s smug, nonverbal <em>“I told you so”</em>. Keisuke would love nothing more than to have his parents clashing with him once more regarding his sexuality. Everything he routinely avoided would be a blessing if it meant he could have Takumi.</p><p>He moved a third time, adjusting so that he was completely on the bed. As his head hit the pillow, a soft, sweet scent flooded the room. The corners of his mouth tugged upward when he realized what it was - <em>strawberries.</em> Or, to be more precise, strawberry scented shampoo.</p><p>He wondered if he had noticed it when Takumi had been in his car, or even better (or maybe worse), when he had been an unwaking, fragile being in his arms. The unendurable tension crackling within Keisuke at the time had kept him from registering it, but here in the quiet solitude of his bed, it was all that he could do to not inhale it.</p><p>As it sunk in just how in deep he truly was, Keisuke fell into a heavy sleep, feeling more at ease than he had in a while.</p><p>--</p><p>The room was dark by the time he woke, the sun having just set. The clock to his left read 6:08. Keisuke sat up and shuffled out of his room, shaking off the remnants of sleep. His usual destination would’ve been his brother’s room, but he had someone else to check on before that. </p><p>For the second time that night, silence followed his three knocks. A still sleeping Takumi greeted his eyes when he opened the door, looking as if he’d hardly even moved. His unchanging position worried Keisuke so much so that he entered the room, stepping closer to the bed to ensure he was actually breathing. The rhythmic rising and falling of the brunette’s chest confirmed that he was in fact still among the living. Exhaling an audible sigh, Keisuke thought to himself, <em>Takumi’s worse than me… He sleeps like he’s dead!</em> To Keisuke’s greater relief, the package of painkillers had obviously been torn and a small amount of the water drained. The notion of him waking up in enough pain that he was prompted to take something for it didn’t sit well with Keisuke, but at least he’d been able to provide some kind of respite.</p><p>With that out of the way, Keisuke retraced his steps back into the hallway. Light shone underneath his brother’s door. “Aniki, I’m coming in,” he called out, crossing the threshold into his brother’s room. Keisuke was well accustomed to seeing Ryosuke at his desk typing away, but the energy swirling around the room felt off. He stopped only a few steps in. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>Ryosuke paused typing mid sentence, only further alarming Keisuke. “Keisuke, I seem to have made a mistake,” he said resentfully, his eyes remaining on the screen.</p><p>“You? Make a mistake? I don’t believe that for a second.”</p><p>“Would you believe me if I said I fucked up instead?” The older of the two didn’t wait around for the blonde’s astonished reaction, opting to rise from his desk chair and move to his balcony. As Keisuke shook off his dismay and followed him out, Ryosuke lit up the cigarette he had retrieved from the pack in his pocket. When Keisuke declined the second, unlit cigarette offered, he replied, “trust me, you’re going to want it.”</p><p>“So,” Keisuke prodded tentatively, exhaling smoke, “what’d you do?” He shivered in the frigid night air but ignored it in favor of whatever Ryosuke considered to be a “fuck up”.</p><p>“I pushed Fujiwara to tell me if he was sexually assaulted on Akina which upset him. Rightfully so,” he said bluntly.</p><p>“<em>What?</em>” Keisuke snarled, swinging his head to stare his brother down. Ryosuke’s gaze continued to avert his. “Aniki, why the fuck would you do that?!”</p><p>“I…” Ryosuke hesitated, something Keisuke was certain he’d never seen his brother do. “I didn’t handle it the way I should have. I’m sorry.”</p><p>“You shouldn’t have asked him about it in the first place!” Keisuke snapped back violently. “You’re not his doctor, dammit, you can’t say shit like that and expect him to just be okay with it!”</p><p>Suddenly Ryosuke’s dark eyes landed on him, the cold fire in them mixing with the already present guilt. “I know that, Keisuke, but I needed to make sure he didn’t have more pressing injuries. Things that we can’t treat.”</p><p>Keisuke knew that he was right. And he <em>hated</em> it.</p><p>“I don’t give a damn what you were trying to do! What you did was fucked up!” The blonde hissed, rounding on his brother. His face felt like it was made of flames and his blood pounded angrily in his ears. Fist clenching and unclenching reflexively, Keisuke fought down the impulse to clock Ryosuke square in the jaw. He abruptly remembered the cigarette smoldering in his grasp and brought it to his lips in frustration.</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>The night time ambience filled the lapse in conversation until Keisuke put out his cigarette and sighed. “I’m sorry, Aniki. I know you weren’t trying to hurt him,” He said quietly, allowing his anger to take the backseat. Shifting, Keisuke proceeded to sheepishly ask, “well, did he say anything?” He knew he didn’t have any more of a right to this information than Ryosuke did, but now that it was on the table, he couldn’t just not know.</p><p>“No. His reaction was enough to confirm my theory, though.” A cloud of smoke travelled upwards from the cig he held so delicately in his hand. “Fujiwara shut down the second I brought it up.”</p><p>“Do you think they…” No. He couldn’t say <em>that</em> word, not when it involved Takumi.</p><p>Ryosuke picked up on the unspoken word. “I can’t know for certain until Fujiwara himself says it, but I highly suspect some form of sexual assault occured whether or not it involved rape.” </p><p>The unspoken word was abruptly spoken.</p><p>Sorrow hit the blonde too quickly to be caught and he tensed. For the second time that day, a pain so alien to Keisuke surfaced and engulfed him, ten fold stronger than earlier at the Fujiwara household. A flood of tears broke the emotional dam that he immediately, desperately tried to choke down by squeezing his eyes shut. The tears only stung that much more. Against his will, his lower lip began to quiver. With his throat feeling as though it were constricting and his lungs starving for air, a sob he couldn’t restrain escaped him.</p><p>Hands fell on his shoulders and forcibly turned him before swiftly moving to wrap around him. All at once, the tension in him dissolved. Keisuke was pulled into an embrace so warm and comforting that he clutched onto it without fully comprehending what he was doing. He cried uncontrollably into Rysouke’s shoulder, fingers gripping the shirt that his scorching tears were now wetting. Ryosuke’s hold on him only tightened reassuringly.</p><p>The night wore on, unbothered by the younger brother’s uninhibited show of sentiment. Keisuke’s weeping diminished at some point, easing into shuddering breaths and soft hiccups. As he regained a sense of stability, his embarrassment rose over the receding grief and he pushed Ryosuke away. Wiping away at his face, he turned towards the cold air.</p><p>“I’m sorry about that, Aniki,” he mumbled weakly, willing his voice to return to him and the discomfort in his throat to leave.</p><p>“He’ll get through this, Otouto,” Rysouke responded unusually gently. “Whatever “this” is, he’ll survive it.”</p><p>“I know he will, but it just tears me up inside. The thought of them doing <em>that</em> kills me.” The blonde bit his lip as his emotions threatened to surge once more. “I don’t know. I’m a fucking wreck right now.”</p><p>“Get some sleep, Keisuke. You need more than just a few hours at a time right now.” Seeing Keisuke open his mouth to protest, albeit wearily, he asserted, “even if you didn’t go through what Fujiwara did, the past twenty-four hours have been exhausting for you.”</p><p>Keisuke simply nodded, recognizing he was, in fact, just as drained as he had been before he napped. </p><p>“And please don’t stress over what I said to Fujiwara. I’ll fix it tomorrow morning.”</p><p>Immensely grateful for an older brother with a talent for correcting mistakes, even when they had been made by said brother, Keisuke nodded his assent again. With that, he reunited with his bed and the sleep he so greatly needed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ya'll ready for some actual warmth in this depressing shit show?? I sure as hell am. My notes for chapter six literally say "owo blushies" so there's that. 🤡</p><p>Also I wrote the "he sleeps like he's dead" line in Chibiusa's English voice from Sailor Moon R. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pU8CkRI2f6I This dub and the term "initialize" will haunt my dreams until I die</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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